Highlights

Weekly Stitch 28 Feb: Furry nails and eyeball tatts the new beauty trends

This week in public health news, Australia saw a few stitch ups (or FU, read as you feel is PC) including an antagonistic story about mobiles and brain cancer that revealed a lot more about Australia’s fascination with cancer than they did about its epidemiology, a closure of a vitamin IV drip clinic previously hailed by millennial media as a potential hangover cure and furry nails.

While eyeball tattoos have been legalised and written into regulation this week, the stitch up may not be episcleral tattooing in NSW. Reports have described this as an alarming upward trend but tattoo artists are not seeing this at their studios. Luna Cobra, the founder and global master of this technique, attests that only one Australian a year asks for the procedure. To put it in perspective, Australia is now a population of 23 mill. NSW Labour Shadow Health Minister, Walt Secord has thrown dirt at the Baird government, calling this a “major stuff-up” and has been stirring up support to ban this for the good of Australian public health. However, clients are often part of the niche population who seek extreme body art and are fringe members of society. Cases that have been touted as evidence against eyeball tatts have likely been the result of fools deciding to hold rogue tattoo sessions at home. Smoking and junk food are said to have more concrete evidence of harming population health on a much larger scale but no politician is calling for the ban of tobacco or fruit loops. Cobra advises against seeing anyone other than an expert practitioner, which to my understanding appears to be just the one. Even so, he puts his clients through a vetting process that turns away more people than he accepts. While there is little evidence to link eyeball tatts to any long term health effects as of yet, its potential complications are notably blindness and cancer. Doctors and tattoo artists alike are not so sure the otherworldy effect of a tattooed eyeball is worth it.

An honourable mention however goes to Fashion Week’s nails.

Sites have voiced their offence at Fashion Week’s latest beauty creation, fur on nails. Watch Kelly Ripa to appreciate the true dimensions of this fashun. Pedestrian TV likened the look to an extreme fungal infection and posed the question of hand hygiene. I can only imagine it to be similar to washing your dog’s hairy paws? Shampoo, conditioning and possibly a blow dry. Nail Dystrophy states that long term wearing of this trend is a sure fire way to achieve its website’s name. This kind of ornamentation would also pick up bacteria, dirt and food as do male beards. Literature was searched for insight however furry nails do not appear to be a priority for academics at this time. Weight watcher users on a forum discussing this particular trend seemed to support the consensus that furry nails were gross. User Greenie2016’s greatest concern was whether the forum would trigger creepy popup ads while Beachdreamin2020 commented “Wouldn’t they tickle when you wiped after going tinkle?” A truly valid thought to consider before jumping on the paws trend.

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